You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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