y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize