Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
