Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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