Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
