Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
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