I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
