I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
