scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize