so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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