DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
