could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
