Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
