oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
