It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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