I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
