I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
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I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
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Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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