It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
