I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
