why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
