the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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