I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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