So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
