Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
