Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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