yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
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Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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