Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize