Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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