so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
