So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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