im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
