Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i think i have herpe
just one?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
