No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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