Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
