I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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