I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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