I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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