I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Randomize
