I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
