woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
