im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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