Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
