I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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