She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
