seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize