Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
