I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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