Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
It's shark week go big or go home
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
