I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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