Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
