so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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