My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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