i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
