I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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