I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
