Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
