so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize