Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
