i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize