You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
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she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
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What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize