I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
