you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
