Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize